Getting help.... Dose it really help?..

Have you ever felt so miserable and helpless and thought you would never be happy again and that there would never be any way for you to change and make things better.... then you got help and it changed your life? If so what kind of help did you get counseling? Therapy?... Because I am seriously at that point and I've been like this for so long I just can't take it anymore and it's starting to affect the people I love and the people that care about me and love me... lately I've been very mean to my boyfriend.. I feel like I just can't control it anymore deep down I really don't mean it and it kills me but I just keep doing it over and over again... it's driving me crazy and in all honestly I am starting to act a little abusive.. I hate it so much I'm starting to hate myself more than ever... if you're reading this and you have any advice or have experienced this please please don't ignore this post... this is a cry for help... I can't do this anymore.. I've been ignoring help for so long because i thought it would never help I always thought I could fix myself but that's just not the case....