I really shouldn't hurt so much, because I did it to myself, but 4 years ago I had an abortion. I was with the same guy, just in a different situation. We were in school, both living with our parents and financially barely holding on for ourselves. We figured we weren't ready at the time. 4 years into the present and we are happily married with a place, still sort of getting our bearings together. Every period I get so depressed because I feel like I have disgraced mother nature and am no longer allowed to be with child. I get my hopes up every cycle and it hurts my every being when I find out otherwise. Please tell me this is normal and that I can get through it. I don't know if I can take it anymore.