17 and WANT to be pregnant! I'm crazy I know!

Si
So I was 7 days late for my period and had crazy pregnancy symptoms. I was so super sure I was pregnant and of course I was terrified because I mean I'm only 17 years old but I was also sorta excited. I felt all this maternal instinct running through me. I took a pregnancy test and it came back negative. The next day I started my period. I know this is crazy but I just wish so badly that I had been positive. Is that crazy? I've had a really rough life with my parents getting divorced and my dad pretty much hating me and having a baby was what I felt I was supposed to do. I want to be a mother so badly but I'm only 17. I don't even know how to feel anymore. Someone please help.