Two years ago I was dating this guy who I ended up losing my virginity to and some big chain of events happened after. I'm good friends with his sister and still am. He ended up dumping me a few days later after sex and me being devastated got drunk with his sister. He ended up telling me he was sorry and convinced me we were back together and we had sex. Then he went mia. Anyways I started getting some symptoms of being pregnant and my mom would point things out but I would always deny it. We ended up going to the doctor to check and it said negative. But things kept changing and I missed my period. I'm diagnosed with pcos so I was trying to not freak out because it is irregular sometimes. I read that sometimes pcos women tests will come out negative up to 3-5 months of pregnancy and the only way to tell sometimes is a blood pregnancy test. So I asked for one and my doctor said no. I tried to forget about it because i didn't want to trick my body. I pushed through the symptoms because I trusted my doctor but in the back of my mind I still questioned. I told his sister about it and she would try to pressure me into telling him every time we spoke. But I refused because I wasn't 100% sure yet and I wanted proof plus he hated me and I didn't want to start something I wasn't ready to handle. Then a few weeks later i felt the worst cramps and my body was all achy, i went to the bathroom and saw some blood I was kind of upset because I thought it was my period and I was just being crazy. Then the next day I didn't feel any better and I went to change my pad. There were a lot of clumpy blood clots and it was heavy but I assumed it was because I skipped. Until I saw a small gray bubble the size of a blueberry on my toilet paper. I told myself it might be a weird blood clot but my heart was beating fast and I wanted to cry. The next few days I didn't know what to do and I told his sister what happened but I was scared to go to the doctor because she didn't listen last time and I was scared to be wrong even though I didn't feel like I was. I suffer from social anxiety and I hate confrontation. It was a constant battle between wanting to go to the doctor but also being scared. His sister made me tell him that night and we argued and he left me completely heartbroken. My mom and his parents know of what happened and I hated that because I told before I was ready to and I wanted to be 100% sure. I went through a really bad depression period and my anxiety got worse, I hate myself for being such a coward. I just recently went to the doctor after all this time and she told me it sounds like a miscarriage and that if the other doctor had done a blood test we could have known for sure. But that it was okay and it will be okay. But she can't tell me for sure but that's what it sounds like. Now I don't know what to do. My mom never likes to talk about it and me and his sister don't either because I can't handle it especially because she's so close to him that's her brother and I don't want to put her in an awkward position. She thinks I forgive him and sometimes I do but others days I hate him.